You Know What's Fucking Brutal? - Pigs

A pig about to unleash some brutality

Pigs are brutal as fuck. When most people try to figure out which farm animals are the most brutal, they pick something shit like Horses. Those people are fucking idiots, pigs are totally the most brutal on the farm by far. First of all they don't give a shit about hygiene; they will live in their own shit and that's fucking brutal. I'd like to see one of you pussies trying to live in your own shit, you'd probably be fucking spineless and die from disease, or bitch and moan about the smell. Not pigs, they do stuff like this for a fucking laugh, and for brutal reasons.

Pigs also will fight fucking anything, even animals that are fucking massive. Most people don't realise this and wander around pigs like they're fucking cats or something. But a pig will fuck you up given half the chance. Some say pigs are almost as smart as we are; well if that's the case we're fucked, because not only could a large swine beat the fucking shit out of you without breaking a sweat, it's probably smarter than you are as well.

Also pig meat is the most brutal of all meats in the world. Basically pig meat will fuck you up. If it doesn't get caught in your throat and cause you to choke to death (because YOU were too pussy to swallow properly you unbrutal fuck), there's so much fat and salt and shit in it that if you do manage to eat it you'll probably end up dying of heart disease. This problem was so fucking brutal they had to invent Judaism just to stop people from dying all the fucking time.

I've experienced pig brutality first hand. I was sent to a farm as part of my rehabilitation program, and there was this pig looking at me in that fucking brutal way. So I just squared off against the mother fucker and punted it right in the face. Before it had a chance to get really mad and be more brutal, I stabbed it's eyes out. I just know if I'd have waited a second longer, it would have killed all of us most likely. I'm a fucking hero. 'Course no one else thought so, but they just don't know how brutal pigs can really be. I'm not allowed on the farm anymore, but fuck those pussies. They can all be brutalised by the pigs for all I care. Fucking brutal swine.

You Know What's Fucking Brutal? - Swans

Swans about to kick the shit out of something

Swans are brutal as fuck. A lot of people associate swans with happiness and love, but those people don't realise how fucking brutal swans are and should be punched in the kidneys until they understand.

First off, swans don't fuck around. A swan will, if given the chance, completely ruin your shit just for the fun of it. Any time a swan visits a pond it's not to hunt for food or to rest (swans don't rest because they're fucking brutal), it's to spot potential targets. It hunts humans mainly because it knows we're also a brutal animal with the right weapons. Swans are a bit like Predator, in the sense they only attack people who are armed. Unfortunately for us a swan counts looking at is as a threat; such is their fucking brutality.

Also swans migrate as well, which is super fucking brutal. Basically they fly like, say, a million miles from one place to another. Have you ever walked that far in one go? No? No fucking surprise, that's because you're not as brutal as a swan. They do so not because they can't stand the cold, since being brutal they can just take the cold on the chin like a mother fuck. No, it's to widen the number of people's shit they ruin across the world. A swan's yearly cycle involved kicking the shit out of people on all seven continents. Yes, that includes Antartica; if they can't find a human, swans will instead attack baby seals and penguins. Then eat the remains and wear the skins as miniture waistcoats.

Swans were also used by the army as kamikazi bombers during both World Wars. Since swans are fucking brutal, they just attached bombs to them and told them to go fuck someone up. They reach their target and blow the fuck up. It's fucking brutal.

If you ever want to know exactly how brutal swans are, go down to the park. I had just seen my ex earlier and I was pretty pissed, so this swan came up being all brutal and shit. So I just beat the crap out of it, cause I know how fucking brutal swans are. I got banned from the park, but it doesn't matter, cause I kicked the shit out of a swan. Which was brutal as fuck.