Swans about to kick the shit out of something
Swans are brutal as fuck. A lot of people associate swans with happiness and love, but those people don't realise how fucking brutal swans are and should be punched in the kidneys until they understand.
First off, swans don't fuck around. A swan will, if given the chance, completely ruin your shit just for the fun of it. Any time a swan visits a pond it's not to hunt for food or to rest (swans don't rest because they're fucking brutal), it's to spot potential targets. It hunts humans mainly because it knows we're also a brutal animal with the right weapons. Swans are a bit like Predator, in the sense they only attack people who are armed. Unfortunately for us a swan counts looking at is as a threat; such is their fucking brutality.
Also swans migrate as well, which is super fucking brutal. Basically they fly like, say, a million miles from one place to another. Have you ever walked that far in one go? No? No fucking surprise, that's because you're not as brutal as a swan. They do so not because they can't stand the cold, since being brutal they can just take the cold on the chin like a mother fuck. No, it's to widen the number of people's shit they ruin across the world. A swan's yearly cycle involved kicking the shit out of people on all seven continents. Yes, that includes Antartica; if they can't find a human, swans will instead attack baby seals and penguins. Then eat the remains and wear the skins as miniture waistcoats.
Swans were also used by the army as kamikazi bombers during both World Wars. Since swans are fucking brutal, they just attached bombs to them and told them to go fuck someone up. They reach their target and blow the fuck up. It's fucking brutal.
If you ever want to know exactly how brutal swans are, go down to the park. I had just seen my ex earlier and I was pretty pissed, so this swan came up being all brutal and shit. So I just beat the crap out of it, cause I know how fucking brutal swans are. I got banned from the park, but it doesn't matter, cause I kicked the shit out of a swan. Which was brutal as fuck.
First off, swans don't fuck around. A swan will, if given the chance, completely ruin your shit just for the fun of it. Any time a swan visits a pond it's not to hunt for food or to rest (swans don't rest because they're fucking brutal), it's to spot potential targets. It hunts humans mainly because it knows we're also a brutal animal with the right weapons. Swans are a bit like Predator, in the sense they only attack people who are armed. Unfortunately for us a swan counts looking at is as a threat; such is their fucking brutality.
Also swans migrate as well, which is super fucking brutal. Basically they fly like, say, a million miles from one place to another. Have you ever walked that far in one go? No? No fucking surprise, that's because you're not as brutal as a swan. They do so not because they can't stand the cold, since being brutal they can just take the cold on the chin like a mother fuck. No, it's to widen the number of people's shit they ruin across the world. A swan's yearly cycle involved kicking the shit out of people on all seven continents. Yes, that includes Antartica; if they can't find a human, swans will instead attack baby seals and penguins. Then eat the remains and wear the skins as miniture waistcoats.
Swans were also used by the army as kamikazi bombers during both World Wars. Since swans are fucking brutal, they just attached bombs to them and told them to go fuck someone up. They reach their target and blow the fuck up. It's fucking brutal.
If you ever want to know exactly how brutal swans are, go down to the park. I had just seen my ex earlier and I was pretty pissed, so this swan came up being all brutal and shit. So I just beat the crap out of it, cause I know how fucking brutal swans are. I got banned from the park, but it doesn't matter, cause I kicked the shit out of a swan. Which was brutal as fuck.
